[00:00:00] Hey, I'm Melissa LaGrant, licensed nutritionist and creator of drop the diet weight loss. I am on a mission to help women drop the fad diets and lose weight in a way they love for the last damn time. I know you're ready to end the yo-yo dieting and do this weight loss thing for good. So let's go. Well, Hey there and welcome back.
[00:00:29] So we just kicked off a new group coaching program last week and have already started with some big work. And one of the first things that we do in the coaching program is to bring awareness around and dig into our. Rules stories and behaviors around food. Before we even start focusing on what we're eating, we dive into why we're eating in a way we're not happy with more specifically, [00:01:00] why we're overeating and eating for reasons outside of the.
[00:01:04] Uh, this is such important work to do first because if we don't dig into these things, there is no food plan or food list that will work for the long-term. So in today's episode, I wanted to share with you one of the common behaviors that was popping up among the group so that I can help you with it too.
[00:01:27] And it's what I call, deserve it. Eating.
[00:01:31] So I'm going to explain a little bit more about what that means, and then I'll share the process and how you can begin to move away from this behavior. Now, this definitely falls under the blanket of emotional. So if the, I deserve this eating doesn't necessarily resonate with you, you can plug in any other form of emotional eating that you might have, the principles and solutions that [00:02:00] I'm going to talk about will apply to other types of emotional eating as well, like eating to relax or unwind or distress.
[00:02:09] So I think you'll find this helpful in many situations. Tackling these things is how you begin to have a better relationship with food and with yourself. . And that is what we're after here. I want you to get to a place where you're eating the foods you love, because you enjoy them not to feel better or avoid feelings or escape from the day of this is the tough work and how you get to that place that I just described.
[00:02:40] It sounds simple, but it isn't easy. So give yourself some. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not broken. And if you've been emotionally eating for some time, you've just created a habit. And the good news is you can change that habit if you're willing to dig in and [00:03:00] get a little uncovered. So, have you ever said to yourself, I deserve to eat this maybe at the end of a long busy day or after a tough conversation or even after a workout?
[00:03:13] I think that as women, we put a lot of unrealistic expectations on ourselves, constantly moving from one thing to the next and then beating ourselves up because we should have done more or we didn't do enough now. I know I've been guilty of it. We're hard on ourselves. And a lot of times we're not acknowledged or rewarded or praised.
[00:03:37] And even when we are, we tend to say things like, yeah, but I could have done this better, or I could have done more than this, or I didn't get to this. We are rarely stopping to look at what we have done and telling ourselves that what we've done is amazing and give ourselves a pat on the back. [00:04:00] And when we're not doing that for ourselves, we look for external validation like food to give us that reward.
[00:04:09] We so deserve for what we accomplished. That's why the first step in moving away from this, I deserve it. Mentality is to teach yourself to be your own cheerleader, to talk yourself up, to celebrate all your wins, big and small. And I'll say, if you're not used to doing. It's going to feel a little weird and uncomfortable at first, but just keep going.
[00:04:35] I promise it will start to feel more and more natural. So to do this, remind yourself throughout your day, why you're proud of yourself and it doesn't have to be about something you've done. . It could be something about you that you're proud of. And this is not a selfish thing. You're not being full of yourself or bragging.
[00:04:56] You're acknowledging that you're a bad ass . And that you [00:05:00] are worthy and you deserve to feel amazing without food, because I know that even if the food feels good in the moment, you're beating yourself up over it afterwards, you need to take that power back from. Food has the unwanted behavior here, and it's never going to validate you.
[00:05:20] So that's step number one, start cheering for you.
[00:05:25] Step number two is to put the think, feel, act cycle in action. Whenever I'm talking about things like changing behaviors, emotional eating self-sabotage I always bring in the think feel, act cycle as a tool. No. I've talked about this in the podcast before, and it's nothing I invented by the way, you can Google it and read tons more about it.
[00:05:50] But what this means is that it's the thoughts we have around something that create our emotions that cause us to act [00:06:00] understanding this cycle is a game changer. Not just for food, but in all areas of your life, when you understand that your thoughts around something are the basis for creating your emotions and then in turn your actions, you understand that if you have a behavior you want to change, what you need to do is to get to work on becoming aware of the thoughts around it, and then start to reframe those thoughts.
[00:06:27] That's pretty powerful. Right. And one thing to remember here is that our thoughts are just thoughts. They aren't necessarily facts or true. Alright. So let's put this think, feel, act cycle inaction for moving out of that. I deserve this food mentality. First up. I want you to identify. What the foods are, what are the foods that you tend to eat when you say I deserve this?
[00:06:57] And when you think about this, you're probably [00:07:00] not saying I deserve these carrots or this chicken breast. What are your go-to deserve it foods. Uh, once you list those out, then I want you to write out the thoughts that you have around those. Is it, these cookies are bad. I only get them when I've done something to deserve them or ice cream is my comfort food or chips make me feel better.
[00:07:25] So once you've become aware on your thoughts around these deserve it foods. The next step is to become aware of your thoughts around the situations you find yourself saying, I deserve this food. What was the. Was it a tough conversation? Were the kids bouncing off the walls?
[00:07:45] Was it a stressful day at work? Maybe it sounds like that work call was rough. These Cheez-Its aren't on my plan, but I definitely earn them. So now that you've nailed down the thought. The next step is to identify the [00:08:00] emotions that these I deserve it. Thoughts are creating. So if you deserve this cake, cookie glass of wine, whatever it is, what's the emotion.
[00:08:10] Is it desire, entitlement? Like I should be able to have this because of what I accomplished today. Is it permission? Are you justifying it in your head? Why you're allowed to have. What I'll call deserve it, food. All right. So now that you've got all the awareness, what the heck do you do with it? Well, first when you find yourself in a, I deserve this food moment, you're going to stop, pause and ask yourself, what is it that the food will do for you in that moment?
[00:08:46] Ask yourself what it is that you really. Is it to feel worthy, proud, recognized. And then I want you to remind yourself that food is not going to give you those [00:09:00] things. It might give you a quick hit of dopamine or a chance to numb out for a minute, but it's not giving you what you really want to feel worthy, to feel proud, to feel recognized.
[00:09:12] And then in that moment, when the thoughts come up, this is your chance to start to reframe these thoughts, to start to write a new story, to build new habits. So when that thought comes up, the, I deserve this. Add onto that by saying, you know what? I also deserve something so much more than food. I deserve to feel proud and accomplished.
[00:09:38] I deserve to feel in control around food. I deserve to feel good in my skin. I deserve to be at the top of my priority list. Find a thought that resonates with you, and this will take some practice. It's not going to be perfect, but keep putting those things into action. Even [00:10:00] when you mess it up, just keep practicing the tools every time.
[00:10:04] And I promise you will begin to move away from this unwanted behavior.
[00:10:09] All right. So your action step for this week is to put that thing feel. Tool into action. I hope this episode helps you so much. And if so, I'd love for you to share it with a friend or two, . Because it's all about helping every woman step into her power and feel amazing.
[00:10:29] Thanks so much for being here with me today. I'll see you next week. .